Taboos uncovered: From Polynesian roots to Polish living rooms

We’ve all been there – sitting at a family gathering when this one uncle brings up politics, and suddenly, the room falls silent. Or worse, your aunt asks about your salary – and you pretend not to hear.

These moments, as awkward as they tend to be, reveal a universal truth: taboos still rule our conversations.

But where does the word taboo even come from? And why are some topics – like death or money – so hard to talk about in Poland?

Let’s unpack the history, psychology, and surprising data behind modern taboos.

From Polynesia to your dinner table: The meaning and origins of the word "taboo"

The word "taboo" has quite exotic roots.

It comes from the Polynesian term "tapu," meaning sacred or forbidden. British explorer James Cook first recorded it in 1777 during his travels in Tonga, and he was fascinated by the strict social and religious restrictions he observed (BBC Travel, 2020).

Back then, breaking a tapu could mean exile – or worse. Today, the consequences are less dramatic – thankfully, there is no banishment for discussing salaries. Yet the discomfort still remains.

Over time, the word “taboo” evolved to describe social and cultural restrictions across different societies. Whether rooted in religion, tradition, or social norms, taboos act as invisible barriers, shaping what we can – or cannot – talk about.

“We don’t talk about money, nay, nay, nay, nay…”

If you’re in Poland – just a tip – you might want to think twice before bringing up death at the dinner table. According to a recent survey by Ariadna (2025), 38% of Poles avoid discussing death, making it the nation’s number one conversational no-go zone. Surprisingly, sex follows closely behind at 37%, along with religious beliefs.

Money remains a tricky subject across all demographics. 31% of Poles refuse to discuss financial struggles, and 29% avoid discussing their salaries altogether. Perhaps it’s because money conversations often come with a side of judgment – whether it’s about wealth, debt, or financial decisions.

Meanwhile, topics like health, spending habits, and personal values are more commonly discussed.

In relationships, partners are the go-to people for difficult discussions, but even then, some subjects remain untouched. 14% of couples never discuss death, 13% avoid talking about worldviews, and 12% steer clear of politics. Men, in particular, are less likely to open up about emotions and personal values, with 30% admitting they never discuss their feelings with anyone.

Taboos in relationships: What we say (and what we don’t)

The 2025 Ariadna report indicates that living together makes a big difference.

People who share a home with their partner are far more likely to talk about finances, health, and even existential matters like death. This suggests that proximity and everyday interaction naturally lead to deeper conversations.

But some taboos persist even in relationships.

More than 10% of people in relationships avoid discussing death, political beliefs, and religion with their partner. Meanwhile, sex remains a challenging topic for many couples, with 8% never discussing it and 29% finding it difficult to talk about.

Interestingly, it turns out that whether a couple is legally married or not doesn’t significantly impact how freely they discuss difficult topics.

Why do we avoid certain topics? The benefits and drawbacks of “taboos”

On the one hand, taboos exist for a reason.

They help maintain social harmony by preventing conflict and discomfort. But as society changes, so do its unspoken rules. For example, older generations tend to discuss politics more openly than younger ones, while those with higher education levels are more likely to talk about sex and death (Ariadna, 2025).

On the other hand, certain difficult topics should be talked about.

Avoiding difficult conversations may feel like a way to prevent discomfort, sure – but it often leads to emotional isolation and misunderstandings. When we steer clear of topics like death, finances, or personal struggles, we miss opportunities to build trust and prepare for life's inevitable challenges.

It’s like in the movies, where the heroes face conflict – not because of an actual crisis, but because they refuse to sit down and talk for a minute.

While silence may seem easier in the moment, it can create bigger problems down the road, especially during issues when clear communication is most needed.

Are we becoming more open to taboos?

As society evolves, so do its taboos. Higher education levels, exposure to diverse viewpoints, and generational shifts influence how openly people discuss once-forbidden topics. The Ariadna survey found that people with higher education are more comfortable talking about death and money, possibly because academic environments encourage discussions on traditionally sensitive issues.

One thing is clear: the more we address tough topics, the less daunting they become. Whether it's financial struggles, fears of death, or personal beliefs, confronting taboos can strengthen relationships and broaden our self-awareness.

So, next time you hesitate to bring up a "forbidden" subject, ask yourself – what’s truly stopping you?

Unless, of course, it’s that one uncle ranting about politics again – then it’s probably just your good sense kicking in. Some minefields are best avoided.

References:

Ariadna Panel. (2025). Seks, polityka, pieniądze – jakie są największe tabu Polaków?

BBC Travel. (2020). The origin of the word taboo.

Cambridge Dictionary (2025). Taboo.